Notice

As my feet departed earth, I had some time to think. Three hundred milliseconds ago, I was standing on both feet behind the bleachers at a Willmar Cardinals football game conversing with friends. I had been attempting to preserve warmth by cinching the hood of my sweatshirt tight around my melon like a an Eskimo (no offense, Eskimos), with the strings tied in a bow-knot that allowed only a couple nostrils and the inside corner of my right eye to see the light. I might as well have had on some parade-grade horse blinders: my peripheral vision was about as present as my biceps.

My body rotated a bit in mid-air so that I was looking straight up into the deep black-blue sky; my arms were evidently pinned to my thighs. Mustering up some strength in my neck, I strained to look downward to see that a red baseball cap had been embedded in my armpit and a pair of brown canvas-covered arms were wrapped around my midsection. Someone had gone airborne with me—a traveling buddy—and I still couldn't breath.

My back hit the ground and my shoulders whipped back as I heard a splash, revealing to my ears that I had landed in water—perhaps a puddle—and had started to slide. My traveling buddy was still with me, and the brown canvas-covered arms were still wrapped around me, but now more tightly than before. As we slid to a stop, the red baseball cap pounced up and started laughing at me. After I wiped the rain from my eyes and began to focus, I saw that the red baseball cap was attached to the head of my friend Ben, who was standing over the top of me, flexing his muscles.

Evidently, Ben had seen me from across the field, ran at me full speed, lowered his head, and had driven his shoulder into my kidney as you would do in football practice to a one-man tackling sled. After a few seconds, I regained my ability to breath oxygen. Ben continued to laugh maniacally and repeatedly patted me on the shoulder, confirming our buddy status.

I got up slowly, and walked back to my group of friends. They asked if I was alright. I said “sure”. I re-cinched my hood even tighter than before, lowered my head, and continued with high school.