In response to my friend Jenny, here are 6 “random things” about me. To give it a twist, I’ll choose one from each year in grade school:

• 1st grade. I learned what it felt like to covet as I desperately desired my friend’s remote-controlled A-Team van.
• 2nd grade. While trying to beat a girl to the water fountain, I chipped my front tooth on a set of concrete stairs. I got it fixed 20 years later.
• 3rd grade. I got my tongue stuck to a frosty pole at the top of a slide. My taste buds were subsequently ripped off as the person behind me impatiently forced me down the slide.
• 4th grade. I stole a spot on the swing set from a friend. Her punishment for me: severe whiplash and 6-weeks in a neck brace.
• 5th grade. I was transferred to advanced English. After failing to wrap my mind around the definition of a paragraph, I was transferred back the following day.
• 6th grade. I stopped wetting the bed.